The Cambridge Walk of War
Damien H. Arse. Multicoloured Biro, Pen and water colour pencil on paper - 19/03/03
1. Home of the Artist (Parkside)- Before the War...
Ok, it's mid week and I've just finished my 11am wank... Not had a good night's sleep - just thinking about this shit war that's going to go down... and I got totally wrecked again the night before. All that can save me now from losing the plot is to slip myself a tab and leave mother acid do her work...
But before I escape, I might as well capture the moment in the artist's pad, studio, knocking shop and general doss/crack house for future prosperity. As an aside I just moved to this dungeon a month ago and formed the Cambridge Stuckists with a few scavver's I could find and everything is looking rosy... well apart from the fucking war and the millions of Iraqis that are going to die....
Anyway, this visual poo was captured using pen on paper - as this is the only thing I can afford at the moment... Well... and a few Mickey mouse watercolour pencils I scaved off one of the local shite artists for certain sexual favours involving a sausage and a pea... but that's another story... isn't it?
2. Outside the Home of the Artist (Parkside) - During the Mind War???
Ok, as you can tell I just took a tab that I found under the bed (only one... which has hardly any effect on my scrambled egg brain now... But at least it stops me thinking about that wanker bush, with blair and that spanish guy no one seems to know as his official rimmers.)
But I digress...
This is the outside of the artist's pad... I'm in the basement broom cupboard (under the arch) with a communal toilet/kitchen I have yet to find. (The park's always been good enough for me...) Hehehe.
Anyway, the place is beginning to colour up a bit more and scav central is looking good after 10 years of sanctions and an 'oil for food' program. Ahh... but wait, what's that in the sky.... Oh it's only a 2 million dollar sausage-shaped cruise missile heading towards us... arseburgers the lot of them...
3. The bombs are falling on Orchard Street
Hmm... just escaped the scene of the last bombardment and am now heading off down orchard street... don't know how I got here... just followed all the rest of the screaming, burning residents. 2 mins walk away and you're out of scav central to a haven of middle England (they must all be taken out...).
Still, can't complain... the yanks wouldn't dream of bombing us here... a 3000 year old civilisation, the first city (oh wait that's Iraq isn't it?)
Oh! and here come the sauerkraut-shaped bombs again... I hope CNN are capturing this massacre...
4. Inside the Bridge of Sighs - my Bomb Shelter
I've been running and screaming down the streets of Cambridge/Iraq - telling everyone to get inside, the yanks with the poodle Brits and Aussies are here... but everyone's just ignoring me... funny that?
So my only respite is to go into the Bridge of Sighs in St. John's College and eek out the remaining hours we have left painting my mark on society... a lone bint looks away in despair as I curl into the foetal position and cry like a dog... 'Don't bomb Iraq'.
5. The Bombing of St John's College, Cambridge.
Hmm... it's been a few hours now (or has it been minutes??) - and I haven't heard a sound... so I make my way out of the shelter to the gardens of St. John.... Only to see missile lazily float down like a feather into the chapel. (Must be collateral damage - a friendly target... a fuck up?.... Just like this whole 'war for oil' adventure). Anyway, I'm just going to stand here and wait fore the thing to burn down to the ground...
God! It's taking its fucking time? Colours are beginning to swirl... must escape before it's too late!
6. The Annihilation of the Bridge of Sighs
Ok, just managed to get out of the firing line before everything went a bit weird... and the bridge of sighs was about to be undone... heyho... that's life isn't it ... or is it death?
I'm not sure... but what I can be sure about is that the tree looks fucking weird. I think there's a whole new bomb shelter being created out of the aftermath of the last - just behind the tree (but no one can ever be sure...)
'The allies' will probably install a dodgy general to run it for a while but we'll have peace won't we?... Well for at least the next suicide bombing by an Iraq that's been dispossessed... Which'll be a few million.
The big conglomerates are building some very strange looking oil fields in the background...
Time for me to go to the bar...
7. The Regal - or I think it's the Regal??
At last... all this killing has got me in the mood for a few beers...and what better than scav central in Cambridge (the Regal). All the drug dealers and their tarts hang out around here - which basically means: I'm right at home.
But more importantly, the axis of evil (bush and blair) can't touch us here, can they? Looks like the cruise missiles and smart bombs are well off course and there's only me - and entrance to peace... and a pea perched on the upper tower.
Hmmm. reminds me of past misdemeanours...
The moon/sun is looking a tad green.... Must be the drugs...
8. Reality Checkpoint
At last I've breached the other side of reality and have come back down a bit... war is raging all around but at least I'm heading home... wonder if anyone's still alive, or have the American and British troops occupied the land (UN resolution anyone???).
Anyway, at least this looks a lot more peaceful now... or does it? The axis of jokers have finally caught up with me and are about to release the mother of all neutron bombs...
Time to shit my pants...
Well... at least I'm in the park...
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